blue guys!

92 years today

16 years old when I went to the war,
To fight for a land fit for heroes,
God on my side, and a gun in my hand,
Chasing my days down to zero,
And I marched and I fought and I bled and I died,
And I never did get any older,
But I knew at the time that a year in the line,
Is a long enough life for a soldier,
We all volunteered, and we wrote down our names,
And we added two years to our ages,
Eager for life and ahead of the game,
Ready for history's pages,
And we brawled and we fought and we whored 'til we stood,
Ten thousand shoulder to shoulder,
A thirst for the Hun, we were food for the gun,
And that's what you are when you're soldiers,

I heard my friend cry, and he sank to his knees,
Coughing blood as he screamed for his mother,
And I fell by his side, and that's how we died,
Clinging like kids to each other,
And I lay in the mud and the guts and the blood,
And I wept as his body grew colder,
And I called for my mother and she never came,
Though it wasn't my fault and I wasn't to blame,
The day not half over and ten thousand slain,
And now there's nobody remembers our names,
And that's how it is for a soldier.
demons of stupidity

Writer's Block: Cat talk

If your dog or cat had a mobile phone, who would be listed first on her or his speed dial?

I'm hard pressed to think of a dumber question. How did they pick this one? Clearly no human was involved in the selection process, but rather a computer picks a submission completely at random. I think I may start submitting questions that are absolute word salad.
your language is silly!

Spam and eggs

Here is the best spam ever, received today:

Subject: Poach eggs, etc
Wednesday, November 25, 2009 10:20 AM
"" <>
Add sender to Contacts

In 1661 there was another outbreak.

Hello, i am Shalom Knowles
Try it for the well-being
(a link of suspected naughtiness, apropos of nothing else in this e-mail, was right here)

He gave her a grateful look, but was still expectant and looking for someone.
She brought her face close to her sister in laws and unexpectedly again began to cry.


rightly or wrongly, I joined facebook. Since then I've had longer, more freeform post-y ideas better suited for el-jay. Prior to joining, I had a bunch of one-liners mentally prepared for posting better suited for facebook. The moral of the story: I can't win.

Speaking of can't win, facebook, and chuckling to myself....I find bridgetwannabe's new fb friend really funneh.
stealing bender

Merry Jingly

Our flight to Las Vegas leaves is set to take off in 14 hours. That's right, once again, it's Christmas in Vegas! Lady Ensign and I will be spending Christmas and her birthday in the hot and sunny cold and windswept Las Vegas! Poker! Gambloring! A whole day of football! Fine Dining! Jerry Seinfeld! Other shows! The works!

Think of us fondly while your trudging through wind and snow to your inlaws, suckers!
your language is silly!


"('Jersey Shore' furthers) the popular TV notion that Italian-Americans are gel-haired, thuggish ignoramuses with fake tans, no manners, no diction, no taste, no education, no sexual discretion, no hairdressers (for sure), no real knowledge of Italian culture and no ambition beyond expanding steroid- and silicone-enhanced bodies,"
angry dome

Pet peeve

WHEN YOU ARE CALLING A BUSINESS, FOR BUSINESS REASONS, YOU'RE GREETING SHOULD BE SOME VARIATION OF "This is *your name* calling from *your company*. Is *whoever the fuck you're calling for* available?" I tell you who I am and what company you called, now you do the same, asshole. I'm not transferring some mystery cockface to a coworker without letting them know who it is, and I'm sure as shit not going to know who it is by their voice. And when I ask who it is, "Jennifer" is not a sufficient answer. We deal with many, many people....odds are pretty fucking good there's more than one Jennifer.

thanksgiving full of win

Thanksgiving 2009 is on record as one of the best Thanksgivings in Ensign history. Salisburians came up. They brought with them excellent conversation, a wonderful little girl/engine, and delicious apple pie. Dad and commonlawish stepmom came for food, as did the MIL. FIL fell ill and could not make it, yet everyone got along wonderfully and no one was insulted. Correlation is not causation.

Much delicious food was prepared by Lady Ensign, and many delicious pies were brought by everyone. I am still eating them. dariacarly and drgrumbles came later for pie.

Much foosball was watched, and I bet the under in the pack-lions game, dallas, parlayed the previous two, and hit on all, emboldening me to bet Denver in the night game, which also hit, making thanksgiving profitiable in dollars AND pie. I hated that the Cowboys won on T-day again.....but it was destined to happen as their opponents were hideously incompetent, so at least I could profit from it.

bridgetwannabe and avgwhiteman came by on Friday with their adorable little one. It was wonderful getting to spend time with them, which is getting fewer and further between. It's highly understandable that getting them to the Ensign mansion is tough, and heading to Jersey just hasn't been in the cards lately, but it doesn't mean I can't be greedy.

Saturday was over to celebree squeegibo and daraflower's house, which had many delicious pizzas. Of course, squeegibo is a fantastical chef, who will one day be on my payroll as a personal cook when I am a hojillionaire. There were many screaming toddlers there as well, and football.

The Caps won a thriller they had no bidness winning, and that too was awesome.