Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ensign_amazing's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
9:19 am	*crickets* (1 fignut | give a fig)
Monday, January 18th, 2010
10:00 am	Spam and eggs Here is the best spam ever, received today: Subject: Poach eggs, etc Wednesday, November 25, 2009 10:20 AM From: "contato@drywash.com.br" <contato@drywash.com.br> Add sender to Contacts To: ssrelu@yahoo.com In 1661 there was another outbreak. Hello, i am Shalom Knowles Try it for the well-being (a link of suspected naughtiness, apropos of nothing else in this e-mail, was right here) He gave her a grateful look, but was still expectant and looking for someone. She brought her face close to her sister in laws and unexpectedly again began to cry. (2 fignuts | give a fig)
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
1:56 am	This was the best music video of all time (6 fignuts | give a fig)
Monday, January 4th, 2010
9:35 am	facebookery rightly or wrongly, I joined facebook. Since then I've had longer, more freeform post-y ideas better suited for el-jay. Prior to joining, I had a bunch of one-liners mentally prepared for posting better suited for facebook. The moral of the story: I can't win. Speaking of can't win, facebook, and chuckling to myself....I find bridgetwannabe's new fb friend really funneh. (4 fignuts | give a fig)
Thursday, December 24th, 2009
5:51 pm	Merry Jingly Our flight to Las Vegas leaves is set to take off in 14 hours. That's right, once again, it's Christmas in Vegas! Lady Ensign and I will be spending Christmas and her birthday in the hot and sunny cold and windswept Las Vegas! Poker! Gambloring! A whole day of football! Fine Dining! Jerry Seinfeld! Other shows! The works! Think of us fondly while your trudging through wind and snow to your inlaws, suckers! (4 fignuts | give a fig)
Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
1:01 pm	Guidowned "('Jersey Shore' furthers) the popular TV notion that Italian-Americans are gel-haired, thuggish ignoramuses with fake tans, no manners, no diction, no taste, no education, no sexual discretion, no hairdressers (for sure), no real knowledge of Italian culture and no ambition beyond expanding steroid- and silicone-enhanced bodies," (1 fignut | give a fig)
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
2:26 pm	Pet peeve WHEN YOU ARE CALLING A BUSINESS, FOR BUSINESS REASONS, YOU'RE GREETING SHOULD BE SOME VARIATION OF "This is *your name* calling from *your company*. Is *whoever the fuck you're calling for* available?" I tell you who I am and what company you called, now you do the same, asshole. I'm not transferring some mystery cockface to a coworker without letting them know who it is, and I'm sure as shit not going to know who it is by their voice. And when I ask who it is, "Jennifer" is not a sufficient answer. We deal with many, many people....odds are pretty fucking good there's more than one Jennifer. (give a fig)
Monday, November 30th, 2009
12:44 pm	thanksgiving full of win Thanksgiving 2009 is on record as one of the best Thanksgivings in Ensign history. Salisburians came up. They brought with them excellent conversation, a wonderful little girl/engine, and delicious apple pie. Dad and commonlawish stepmom came for food, as did the MIL. FIL fell ill and could not make it, yet everyone got along wonderfully and no one was insulted. Correlation is not causation. Much delicious food was prepared by Lady Ensign, and many delicious pies were brought by everyone. I am still eating them. dariacarly and drgrumbles came later for pie. Much foosball was watched, and I bet the under in the pack-lions game, dallas, parlayed the previous two, and hit on all, emboldening me to bet Denver in the night game, which also hit, making thanksgiving profitiable in dollars AND pie. I hated that the Cowboys won on T-day again.....but it was destined to happen as their opponents were hideously incompetent, so at least I could profit from it. bridgetwannabe and avgwhiteman came by on Friday with their adorable little one. It was wonderful getting to spend time with them, which is getting fewer and further between. It's highly understandable that getting them to the Ensign mansion is tough, and heading to Jersey just hasn't been in the cards lately, but it doesn't mean I can't be greedy. Saturday was over to celebree squeegibo and daraflower's house, which had many delicious pizzas. Of course, squeegibo is a fantastical chef, who will one day be on my payroll as a personal cook when I am a hojillionaire. There were many screaming toddlers there as well, and football. The Caps won a thriller they had no bidness winning, and that too was awesome. (8 fignuts | give a fig)
Saturday, November 21st, 2009
11:29 pm	It's like our planet, only better I want to live here. (give a fig)
Monday, November 16th, 2009
7:19 pm	iMeme - All of the death, no hate Sort by song title First song: Accident of Birth - Bruce Dickinson Last song: Zed's dead/Bullwinkle pt 2 - Pulp Fiction Soundtrack Sort by time Shortest song: Jay's Chant - Clerks soundtrack (0:11) ....Jay is singing...or rapping...but if that doesn't count, then: Underpants gnomes - South Park (0:18) - I made this my windows start up at one of my first jobs out of college. Longest song: Karn Evil 9 - Emerson Lake & Palmer (35:19) (Longest studio track: Gates of Delirium by Yes (21:54)) Sort by album First song: Thunderstruck - AC/DC (AC/DC Live: Collector's Edition[Disc 1]) Last song: Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts VI-IX) - Pink Floyd (Wish You Were Here) Top 10 most played songs 1. Montsegur - Iron Maiden 2. Aces High - Iron Maiden 3. Paschendale - Iron Maiden * 4. Hail To The Redskins 5. It's A Long Way To The Top (If you want to rock and roll) - AC/DC 6. The Duelists - Iron Maiden 7. Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be - AC/DC 8. The Prisoner - Iron Maiden 9. Die With Your Boots On - Iron Maiden 10. 2 Minutes to Midnight - Iron Maiden *I played this and Motorhead's 1916 hourly as my own personal Armistice Day tribute this year. If you know any other serious modern songs that bring the rock that are World War One themed.....well.....next year's tribute could use some variety. First 10 songs that come up on shuffle 1. The Jack - AC/DC (live in Edinburgh 1976) 2. Our House - Madness 3. Road To Hell - Bruce Dickinson 4. Karn Evil 9 (1st Impression) - Emerson, Lake & Palmer 5. High Voltage - AC/DC (live in Paris 1980) 6. Chewbacca - Supernova (Clerks soundtrack) 7. Invaders - Iron Maiden 8. Take A Pebble (conclusion) - Emerson, Lake & Palmer (live at Albert Hall) 9. R.U. Ready To Rock - Blue Oyster Cult 10. Roundabout - Yes Search... "sex"- how many songs come up?: 16 (12 of which are the sex pistols) "love" - how many songs come up?: 40 "you" - how many songs come up?: 263, though I'm not sure where iTunes is getting it's information from "death" - how many songs come up?: 22 (2 albums: Metallica's Death Magnetic and Iron Maiden's Dance of Death account for 21 of these......the 22nd is Metallica's Creeping Death) "hate" - how many songs come up?: 0 "wish" - how many songs come up?: 5 (all of which are on Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here album) (7 fignuts | give a fig)
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
9:28 am	91 years In a foreign field he lay Lonely soldier, unknown grave On his dying words he prays Tell the world of Paschendale Relive all that he's been through Last communion of his soul Rust your bullets with his tears Let me tell you 'bout his years Laying low in a blood filled trench Killing time 'til my very own death On my face I can feel the falling rain Never see my friends again In the smoke, in the mud and lead Smell the fear and the feeling of dread Soon be time to go over the wall Rapid fire and the end of us all Whistles, shouts and more gun fire Lifeless bodies hang on barbed wire Battlefield nothing but a bloody tomb Be reunited with my dead friends soon Many soldiers eighteen years Drown in mud, no more tears Surely a war no-one can win Killing time about to begin Home, far away From the war, a chance to live again Home, far away But the war, no chance to live again The bodies of ours and our foes The sea of death it overflows In no man's land, God only knows Into jaws of death we go Crucified as if on a cross Allied troops they mourn their loss German war propaganda machine Such before has never been seen Swear I heard the angels cry Pray to god no more may die So that people know the truth Tell the tale of Paschendale Cruelty has a human heart Every man does play his part Terror of the men we kill The human heart is hungry still I stand my ground for the very last time Gun is ready as I stand in line Nervous wait for the whistle to blow Rush of blood and over we go Blood is falling like the rain Its crimson cloak unveils again The sound of guns can't hide their shame And so we die on Paschendale Dodging shrapnel and barbed wire Running straight at the cannon fire Running blind as I hold my breath Say a prayer symphony of death As we charge the enemy lines A burst of fire and we go down I choke a cry but no-one hears Fell the blood go down my throat Home, far away From the war, a chance to live again Home, far away But the war, no chance to live again (give a fig)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
9:48 am	Somewhere in Detroit a church bell rings 29 times today 34 years ago today. If you have the time and wherewithal, watch this. Reposted from 2 years ago, it is beautifully done. (give a fig)
Friday, November 6th, 2009
11:41 am	I hate my office, life The pitcher who looks like Mitch from Dazed and Confused.... Got busted on a pot charge. Because no one in my office follows baseball, nor has seen the movie Dazed and Confused. (Really? No one has seen this movie that's been on cable 100,000 times and is probably a top ten movie from the 90s....no one has seen this?) Because follows baseball NOR has seen the movie, the epic irony is absolutely wasted on everyone. (1 fignut | give a fig)
9:13 am	That thing from yesterday Yes: No: wigginx goes to the same websites I do, apparently. That thing was a bear that had some disease that made it lose it's fur. (3 fignuts | give a fig)
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
12:48 pm	Vinz Clortho must be nearby Can you guess what animal this is? (8 fignuts | give a fig)
Monday, November 2nd, 2009
11:40 am	The grass is greener on the other side, just don't ask why. More than half of the office is out with Swine Flu. Those of us that remain....all 3 of us.....we still have the whole office's workload to deal with. We are now wondering aloud if we'd be better off with the Swine flu, snug in our beds and not dealing with all this extra bullshit. Probably not. Pretty tempting though. (3 fignuts | give a fig)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
1:37 pm	Sorry, but there's money to be made http://www.wlwt.com/family/21429609/detail.html This is so deliriously sad and sweet and heartstring pulling that I'll give even money that it's a hoax. Either way I urge you to take the time to read it. Am I too cynical? I think it's very, very possible. (2 fignuts | give a fig)
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
12:45 am	why yes, more philly stuff Now....taxi surfing on the news may seem like a good idea..... (3 fignuts | give a fig)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
4:09 pm	He was Secretary of Homeland Security By The Associated Press October 21, 2009, 10:07AM ERIE, Pa. — An Erie-area man will spend four to eight years in state prison for assaulting his ex-girlfriend’s toddler despite a letter requesting leniency from ex-Gov. Tom Ridge. Ridge says in the letter that he is a neighbor of 21-year-old Matthew Lazenby, who lives with his parents in Millcreek Township. Ridge says in the letter that Lazenby is a “loving and nurturing father” despite his crime. An Erie County judge sentenced Lazenby Tuesday. He had pleaded guilty to shaking and striking the 23-month-old toddler last Halloween, fracturing her skull and causing neurological damage. The victim is not Lazenby’s biological child. He has a 2½-year-old daughter. Lazenby acknowledged problems with alcohol and anger management. His attorney argued for a three-year sentence. (give a fig)
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
6:49 pm	I demand this man be put on Mt. Rushmore immediately Bill Burr walks on stage where the Philly crowd has been in full philly mode for at least the 3 comics previous to him. So instead of doing his set Burr spends his entire ten minutes insulting anything and everything dear to philadelphia. *extremely NSFW language* (3 fignuts | give a fig)